Let be begin by asking you a question, a very simple question, one that is to some an innocuous throw away question. Quite possibly, however, it is the most undervalued question of all time, in terms of its potential power and impact on both the person asking the question and all too often on the less than fully engaged person who was asked and must now answers the question.
So now here is the question… “How are you?”…
I told you that it was a very simple question, one that we hear every single day in one form or another. We, the average person, ask and/or answer this question all the time. It is our go to pro-active or re-active question. We actually take this question for granted most of the time. From my observations we are becoming less and less aware of the implications of asking or answering this potentially very powerful question.
You see this question has the potential power to have a very dramatic, powerful, emotional, motivational and even spiritual impact. This is a question of very high energy and powerful impact when engaged properly and consciously and understood and embraced deeply with intention and expectation.
You see we all too often engage this question as a light, passing, almost obligatory level of human interaction and connection. After all we are expected to ask the ‘How Are You’ question aren’t we? And of course both people are expected to respond in kind by re-asking the same question… quid-pro-quo… It’s almost ritualistic and non-conscious most of the time. When I say non-conscious I really mean it’s not an active positive energy based process with an intention aimed at connecting, understanding, identifying, hearing deeply and setting the human vibrations loose to fully engage and fully connect to each other.
This begs the question… when you ask someone “How Are You?” do you really truly care what their answer is? In fact when they answer do you really hear what they say and what they possibly don’t say? Are you fully committed to the engagement? Does it matter? Should it?
How often do you, when asked, give some standard throw away answer? You know, the “I’m fine, how are you?” answer that we all hear so often. This causes us to become un-conscious and dis-connected at the very beginning of the interaction. At the most potentially powerful moment of really connecting with someone we are the least consciously engaged. This moment usually sets the stage for the rest of the interaction, conversation, business meeting, sales presentation or simple conversation that quite possibly could be a new found friend, business associate, client, the list is endless.
You need to be aware of the intention and the declaration you are setting up and putting forth. I want you to realize the awesome power you have in that moment to declare and set the energy in motion for you or someone else to have an impact on the moment, the day, the week, their attitude, their sense of happiness or self-worth. You may well be the only person in their life that made them feel valued; you may actually transform their entire day and then yours as well in the process. Remember the importance of listening, and listening includes listening with our eyes. We hear with our eyes and our ears, please observe the answer.
What about when you’re asked the question? You might answer something like, “I’m fine”, (pretty typical). When you give that answer, you see, you have made a declaration that you are just/only fine (your energy is then just fine). The universe will now support and validate that energy for you. You have just decided how you are… I want you to please realize this…. You have just decided how you are AND the universe will now support that decision. It’s very important that you really let this sink in for a minute. You have the absolute power to decide how you are and the ability and opportunity to give this same awesome decision making opportunity to someone else, to set amazing energy in motion.
Now I know we all get this on the surface conscious level of understanding but I am asking you to take this to another level, a level of powerful, intentioned, super conscious level of decision making and influence. You have the power to decide how you are and the potential to powerfully influence in a positive way the experience and mindset of the people around you.
Would you like to see just how powerful this question and this experience really is? Would you like to see just how much you can impact how ‘you’ are and how much you can influence those around you? Well you can… Try this for me for one week (7 full days). Every time you are asked the question “How are you?” please answer with one of the following answers; awesome, amazing, incredible, great, fantastic or my favorite this week “On a scale of 1 to 10 I’m pushing 15 really hard”. Here is what I think you will find. Most of the people will be a bit surprised by your answer. Most of them will have a comment for sure. You will get asked things like, “really” or “why, what’s up?” Some may even ask you how that’s possible. Thus begins some of my favorite conversations and some of my best connections, the same can happen for you.
You will also notice that your energy will instantly change in the moment of answering ‘Awesome’ or ‘Amazing’. You will experience the energy and positive vibrations that you are declaring and calling forth. You will find yourself stepping into that energy and that attitude. You will also be giving a great gift to the person who asked you the question by being conscious, and by sharing a new potentiality for them, by giving them a space to step into. You can also kick this up a notch the next time someone answers you with an “I’m fine”… simply ask them the following… “What would it take to transform your, I’m fine, into an awesome?” Then get ready to quite possibly change somebody’s day, week, month and just maybe their life.
Remember the words of Albert Einstein…
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.
So my friends…. “How are you?”
Frank A. White, MBA, PhD